I try to figure out what it could be that's causing me to be down, but maybe this is just the way it is with pnd. Like some days will I just be feeling low for no discernable reason? Or is there something going on that is actually the cause (could it be the messy kitchen we've had for too many days? stress about the holiday? too much time on my hands etc etc). Why are some days hard and others not so much?
I have been trying to think back on what I've learned from the PND support group and various other sources over the past while and I think of things like:
- feelings are just feelings and they can change - that is to say I can feel like this now, but that doesn't mean I'll feel this way tomorrow, or in an hour for that matter
- feelings, thoughts and behaviours all influence each other so if I can change the thought then I can change my feelings .. so that makes me wonder have I been thinking something that has been bringing me down? And I realise that ya, I sort of woke up beating myself up about something and that could have quite possibly caused the initial bad feelings, then they've just spiraled down. Also behaviour affects feelings (and vice versa) so perhaps if I change my behaviour - ie get out of the house - then I might feel better. But the thing is, I don't 'feel' like going out! I want to just relax before I have to go get Hammer in 45 minutes
- live in the moment - so stop thinking about making dinner tonight and what I need to do in the morning and dreading going to get Hammer soon and just think about right now. Think about the fact that right now, Hammer is at pre-school and Nicky is napping and I am just fine sitting here typing...
